Gloryhammer – Tales from the Kingdom of Fife

Releasedate: 29-03-2013; Label: Napalm Records
By: Martine Goffard

Gloryhammer is the new band of Alestorm’s Christopher Bowes. When I saw that the musician who had made himself famous with his pirate metal had created a new band, I thought that maybe it was a more mature project with deep musical creations, which is not impossible at all in power metal. Everyone change with time and Bowes, we must admit, has real talent for playing.

It’s a euphemism to say that this new project is a deception. Don’t get me wrong, I am a true fan of power metal but I have standards. Like Swashbuckle creating some down-market Alestorm, Gloryhammer is a shameless parody of Luca Turilli’s creations. Rhapsody (of Fire), a real “epic” band, has always created inspired sagas with deep stories and impressive music. Of course, the unicorns, elves and dragons are a bit cheesy but it is part of the magic. Here, Bowes takes exactly the same schema, elements and details (and titles parts!!) but pushes it to the caricature and wrap it with two layers of cotton candy that make your teeth (and your ears) bleed. The pseudo allusion to the Scottish/Celtic folklore is there only to mark the difference.

Don’t let yourself be fooled by the profusion of sounds, it’s the music version of Transformers’ CGI, it’s the addictive sugar in the burger sauce. Gloryhammer carries in its essence the same flaw as Alestorm. It’s a party band. Alestorm can make you smile because it has the honesty to talk about pirates, which means clearly “Wenches & Mead” and when they arrived on the metal scene, the theme was very original. With Gloryhammer I say “enough”. Enough of these bands who have as sole objective to encourage their public to drink like pigs. Whatever the genre of metal you represent, you are there to deliver a message, a music, a story or at least a feeling. If the only emotion you share has for objective to increase the sales of beer and rum labels, you should seriously question yourself as an artist. Surfing on that wave of the “party music” some bands and artists have evolved for the worst. The only sound I hear today when I listen to Korpiklaani it’s the noise of the cash register. Bowes has not even the excuse to have produced an inspired first album. The respect I have for Turilli and for thousands of talented musicians who don’t have the media coverage granted to Bowes makes that this music fills me with deep disgust. The Napalm machine has created a new monster, without a brain, without a soul. Avoid “Tales from the Kingdom of Fife” at all costs!

Line up:
Christopher Bowes – Keyboards
Thomas Winkler – Vocals
Paul Templing – Guitars
James Cartwright – Bass
Ben Turk – Drums

Tracklist: 01. Anstruther’s Dark Prophecy 02. The Unicorn Invasion of Dundee 03. Angus McFife 04. Quest for the Hammer of Glory 05. Magic Dragon 06. Silent Tears of Frozen Princess 07. Amulet of Justice 08. Hail to Crail 09. Beneath Cowdenbeath 10. The Epic Rage of Furious Thunder

Links:
Gloryhammer Facebook